Too much time to think...

I have too much time to think and a lot to think about. You would think that it was a good combination but in my situation it isn't.
I see my life moving in a direction I wasn't planning on and it's like I can't control it. My life is a run away train and I'm just watching it steam roll through.
I wish that there was some way I could have some sort of control...but I can't.
Lately I feel outside may body. I feel like I'm watching someone else live my life and I hate it.
I feel like a burden. I have amazing friends and an amazing family but I feel like I cause so much disruption in everyone's lives. They act like it isn't a big deal to talk to me and help me out but I feel like it is. Why do I have this amazing support system yet I feel so alone? Why can I sit in a room full of my closest friends and they are laughing and telling jokes and I just want to cry?
I just want to thank everyone in my life for how amazing they are. Without you...I'd feel more lost. Without you...I don't know where I would be.