I Like Writing Papers...Just Not This Much Writing

So I have a literature review due in my class in a couple weeks.

I hate it.

30 minimum sources, 4500 minimum words.

Ridiculous.

I like writing papers, I really do. That is weird I know but whatever I'm going to embrace it.

But this thing...reading all of these sources will be the death of me.

This paper is going to be freaking awesome though. I can't half-ass anything and this paper is no exception.

Man my teacher better read this and be impressed because I am putting so much work into this thing. I already have over 7000 words and I'm only through a third of my sources.

Yeah...intense.

Whatever though. I'm going to make the best of it :]

Life Right Now Is...Surprisingly Good.

I haven't written in a couple days...oops

Things here in the Burg have been alright. Classes suck but that is to be expected.

I've made a lot of new friends though. It is really nice since I haven't had any before now.

I actually have stuff to do on the weekends besides just homework!! Yipee!! :]

My friend Shane is the captain of our ward soccer team...he convinced me to start playing.

That has been alright I guess. I like soccer I'm just not very good which sucks.

I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of my entire ward!

Oh!! Speaking of church...I got a calling.

Four semesters up here and this is my first calling haha

I am the 4th week Relief Society teacher.

I'm super nervous but actually really excited about it. I think it will be good for me.

I need to learn more about the Gospel anyway. This is just God telling me I need to be better at reading and studying the scriptures and praying.

We'll see how this goes!

Anyway...my friend Aaron is here and we are doing homework while we watch football. Well...he is doing homework; I'm blogging. haha

I better go do work. Peace!

The Things I'll Never Say...

So ... my life <<<<

I am so shy when it comes to dating and guys.

I don't know how to act around them or show them I like them or how to flirt...

I'm just so baffled.

I asked this guy out on a date for Friday and I really like him.

I am so nervous. What am I going to do!?

I'm not quite sure if he likes me or not but I guess we'll see.

I just wish I was confident when it comes to this stuff...

I wish that boys thought I was good looking and fun and wanted to date me.

I'm pretty sure this would be a lot easier for me if that would happen.

Let's just see how Friday goes.

I hope this goes well...

Wish me luck!!

Just Breathe...If You Can

Asthma I hate you.

I had an asthma attack last night. You'd think after taking an inhaler (thanks Ryan for saving me with that) and resting I would be better today.

Nope.

I woke up feeling worse and it really hurts to breathe and I can barely do it.

Now it is sending me in to a panic attack.

Awesome.

Ugh I'm sick of my body being so ... weak.

Whatever I guess I need to just try and push through, right?

Lungs let the air in!!!

Let The Holy Spirit Guide

Well LDS General Conference is on. I am so stoked to be watching it. The words of the Prophet and Apostles are so amazing and I feel so blessed to be able to listen to them.

While I am watching I will be working on some homework. I know that most people might say I shouldn't do that but I have found that I do better work with the Spirit. What a better way to feel the Spirit than while listening to the living prophet speak to me?

Why Me?

I HATE being alone. Seriously. With every fiber of my being I hate it.

But without fail I always end up alone.

My roommate left early for the weekend (at about 1130 today). I now have the apartment to myself until late Sunday.

I have no friends in this stupid town. Kristin (my roommate) and I do everything together. No one up here wants to be friends with me. I try so hard and nothing ever works. A lot of people talk to me on Facebook, via text, on my way to class but when it comes down to actually hanging out I'm always left out in the dust.

Now I'm fine with not being invited to everything I don't want that. I just want to have friends. I want to have plans for the weekend. I try to make plans but everyone bails out on me last minute. Without fail, every time.

The main reason I hate being by myself though...the anxiety I get. The flashbacks that happen. The thoughts that go through my mind. I can only do so much to distract myself.

My mind constantly races and it is never anything good.

Why is my mind messed up? Why am I this way? Why am I broken?

I'm so sick of this.