Modeling

Sometimes I think it would be fun to be a model.

But I'm not skinny enough and I don't even know how to attempt it.

So I'll stick to modeling on my webcam :]

Sisters...

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. A sister by blood, a friend by choice. A sister is a forever friend. A perfect sister I am not, but thankful for the one I've got. A sister is God's way of proving He doesn't want us to walk alone. A sister is someone who knows everything about you and loves you anyway. Friends come and go but sisters are forever. 

 My sister is my best friend. I don't know what I would do without her. She is always here for me and she doesn't understand how much that means to me.

 I miss her with all my heart and I can't wait until she comes home again. I love you Madi. xoxx

Thanks To You I Am Bitter Now Too...

Ugh my ex boyfriend ruined me. I don't trust people and I just expect to be disappointed.

I can't say that I hate him...but in a sense I do.

I want to trust again. I want to have faith in people.

But I don't want to get used again...

Jar of Hearts

I know that I shouldn't be worrying about whether boys like me or not or whether I go on dates all the time or when I'm going to get married. It will happen in its own time and I understand that...

What I don't understand is why the only boys that do ever talk to me or want to go on dates with me are the wrong ones for me. They want to use me and do things that I don't want to do.

Why does this always happen to me?? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says I'm okay with it?? Because I'm definitely not okay with it...I'm sick of it.

Maybe I'm just thinking that is what everyone is out to do to me...maybe I'm not. I don't know. All I know is that I am alone. I feel angry all the time. I'm not happy. I don't want to do anything.

I just want all of this to go away. I want to be happy. I want to have friends. I want to go and do stuff.

I see my family and they are all happy and I want that.

I see my best friend Dani and she is SOOOOOOOOOOOO happy ... and I want that.

I want what they all have. But it seems like no matter how hard I try it never seems to happen.

What am I doing wrong...can someone tell me??