Why Me?

I HATE being alone. Seriously. With every fiber of my being I hate it.

But without fail I always end up alone.

My roommate left early for the weekend (at about 1130 today). I now have the apartment to myself until late Sunday.

I have no friends in this stupid town. Kristin (my roommate) and I do everything together. No one up here wants to be friends with me. I try so hard and nothing ever works. A lot of people talk to me on Facebook, via text, on my way to class but when it comes down to actually hanging out I'm always left out in the dust.

Now I'm fine with not being invited to everything I don't want that. I just want to have friends. I want to have plans for the weekend. I try to make plans but everyone bails out on me last minute. Without fail, every time.

The main reason I hate being by myself though...the anxiety I get. The flashbacks that happen. The thoughts that go through my mind. I can only do so much to distract myself.

My mind constantly races and it is never anything good.

Why is my mind messed up? Why am I this way? Why am I broken?

I'm so sick of this.