I'm so sick of being the way that I am. I hate having panic attacks, I hate not being able to be with a lot of people...I just hate everything about my life right now.
I just want to be better. I want to not fear going out with people. I want to not fear going outside by myself. I want to be strong. I want to be confident in myself.
Oh the many things I want...
It doesn't help that I miss my baby brother, too.
Before he went on his mission I could just call him when I was having a bad day. He could cheer me up instantly...I miss that. I just miss him so so much. He's my best friend and I just wish he was here.
I know he's doing the right thing by being on his mission and he's helping so many people...I just wish I could see him and talk to him whenever I want...
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